Ramsay Mameesh

The Wall Street theatre is filled to capacity tonight. Bankers in tuxedos and men in overalls, share the auditorum, and respond to the act they are witnessing with the same sense of awe. Roars of astonished approval and clapping repeatedly echo through out the hall. As this evenings show has lived up to its billing.

The poster hung by the entrance, features two well dressed and serious looking men, and promises everyone “The Most Amazing Show on Earth”. Mr. Greenspan and his young assistant, will perform “Feats of Financial Folly”, watch as entire economies dissappear before your very eyes. Open to the public - everyone welcome. Price of admission - your life savings.

Join us now as we enter the theatre to watch the final act of this most incredible act. The audience has seen some amazing things already, and sensing the climax are all hushed, as the amazing Mr. Greenspan addresses the audience.

“Ladies and gentlemen, you have seen how our volunteer from the audience, and everyone let’s give Mr. America a round of applause, gave us one dollar. Which he kindly removed from his wallet at the begginning of the show.” Everyone politely claps for Mr. America.

The Amazing Greenspan continues, “And you all saw how my trusted assistant Mr. Bernanke, please everyone if you don’t mind, a show of appreciation to the efforts of Mr. Bernanke, took Mr. Americas dollar and placed it into this solid box.” The audience murmurs and nods. Another volunteer, a man who appeared to be a banker by trade, had been summoned from the audience to examine the box, and had declared it to be solid and empty.

“And ladies and gentlemen, you witnessed did you not, how with a few magic spells, when the box was re-opened, Mr. America’s one dollar bill had magically turned into a one hundred dollar bill?” Mr. Greenspan, ever the show man, loudly exclaims to the incredulous audience as they cheer and hoot their approval. Mr. Bernanke beams on the sideline and dreams of one day being as skilled a performer as the old master.

Mr. Greenspan quiets the crowd and lowers his voice solemnly. “Now I shall perform the grand finale of the evening. Mr. America if you would be so kind as to allow me your services for one final trick?” Mr. America steps back onto the stage, flushed with excitement, the one hundred dollar bill remains in the box.

“Mr. Bernanke, if you would please bring over the magic box, and Mr. America if you would kindly open your hand.” The Amazing Greenspan proceeds to lift open the box and removes the one hundred dollar bill. Taking the one hundred dollar bill between the fingers of his two hands, the Amazing Greenspan holds the bill up in the air, and allows the audience plenty of time to appreciate the reality of the note.

“Now Mr. America,” the Amazing Greespan says rather heavily as he tries to get the attention of his volunteer. Mr. America, his eyes fixated on the one hundred dollar bill, imagines all the things he can buy with the money, and deafly nods in agreement. “This is a one hundred dollar bill, is it not?” asks the magician. “Uh-uh.” Comes the reply. Not a very intelligent response, but understandable, given the circumstances.

“I am going to place this one hundred dollar bill into your hand, if you could please turn and face the audience so everyone can see me place the one hundred bill into your open hand, excellent, excellent, right there, both hands open and level if you please, perfect Mr. America.” As Mr. America faces the audience, his sweaty trembling hand opened and empty, Mr. Greenspan neatly folds the one hundred dollar bill in order to fit it snuggly into his palm. Sensing the impatience of the audience, the amazing Greenspan quickly places the bill into Mr. America’s hand, and instructs him to close it tightly.

“Mr. America, can you feel the one hundred dollar bill in your hand?” He asks a visibly excited volunteer. “Yes, yes, I can!” A smiling Mr. Greenspan produces a cane and waves it over the hand holding the note. “I am now going to recite a short magical statement.” Squinting very hard, and holding the cane over Mr. America’s trembling hand, the financial sorcerer casts his spell. “Economy fluxo, liquidity transparente, inflation alto digitatus, recession imminente!” His words echo through the room, no one in attendance quite understands their meaning, its a language known only to the wise one. With a moment of silence for added effect, the distinguished crowd edges up on their seats, and crane their necks for a better view.

“Would you please open your hand Mr. America.” Instructs the Amazing Greenspan. Hesitating for only a moment, not sure what to expect, Mr. America does as he is told. An audible gasp engulfs the room, Mr. America looks down at his hand. “But, but, it’s gone.” Mr. America semi-coherently begins mumbling. And as rehearsed, the Amazing Greenspan’s assistant Bernanke rushes forward, beside a befuddled Mr. America, and gestures toward the master. “Ladies and gentlemen - the Amazing Greenspan!”

The audience is stunned, they have never seen a trick such as this, this is indeed magic! Not wanting to appear fools, they rise from their seats and cheer wildly, as the Amazing Greenspan takes a slow bow. The curtain begins to descend, lights begin to illuminate the hall, and Mr. Greenspan rises from his bow. Mr. America has not moved, not even a twitch, still mumbling incoherently, “but, but, I had the hundred dollars in my hands.”

Mr. Greenspan places his hand into the open and empty hand of Mr. America, and thanks him for his participation, as he gives it a quick shake. Meanwhile Mr. Bernanke thanks the crowd, “Thank you ladies and gentlemen, thank you, be sure to catch us next month when we appear in Shanghai, tickets are still available. Drive safely. Goodnight.”

The Amazing Greenspan has already stepped behind the curtain. As Mr. Bernanke, before making his way to join the master, leads Mr. America to the edge of the stage and likewise thanks him for volunteering. The crowd collects their coats and purses, checking the seats for any coins that may have fallen from their pockets, and a confused and shaken Mr. America makes his way back to his seat. Mrs. America, is already standing in the aisle when Mr. America arrives, their belongings neatly gathered in her arms. “It was their, right their in my hands, the hundred dollar bill?” He says to his wife while gesturing at his empty palm. “Yes, dear, should we be going now?” Responds Mrs. America.

Mr. and Mrs. America join the crowd exiting the theatre. As they leave and make their way towards the subway, members of the audience, can be heard exclaiming “One hundred dollars disappearing from a mans hand! Incredible, just incredible, never seen anything like it!” Others, recognizing Mr. America, give him a hearty pat on the back and congratulate him for a “Job well done.”

As they head down the subway stairs and toward the turnstiles, Mrs. America turns to Mr. America and asks, “Honey, where’s our dollar bill?”

Once upon a time, I lived in a society, that was completely controlled. It was ruled by an unpopular authoritarian ruler. Dissent was not permitted, and if you didn’t conform to the harsh rules, you would be punished.  Most of the people accepted the conditons imposed, a few were not pleased but went along, this was high school.

Like many high schools, ours had a school newspaper, it’s purpose was to report sports scores and bake sale results. I had a long running feud with the leader of this “state within a state”.  Because I could form a complete sentence, and because my English teacher was able to recognize my handwriting in the grafitti I left on the school walls, I decided to use the school paper as my vehicle of dissent.

Knowing that I would not be afforded any “Constitutional” protection of free speech, this high school was located in a country that didn’t even bother with the need of a sham constitution, I used the only method of writing available to attack the administration - Satire.

I wrote a few columns for the paper, before the authorities caught on, and the publisher was forced to abandon me. Students and teachers enjoyed the cleverly disguised, and humorus jabs, I took at the principal. And the English teacher, never turned me in for my acts of vandalism, it helped that I had sprayed messages of support in the teacher’s lounge.

Satirical writing and political comedy, are sometimes the only literary tools left, by which writers may critique the policies of the ruling regime. Make it funny, and then if they throw you in prison and torture you, they look like insecure men who can’t take a joke. It helps if you live in a country, that makes a pretense at freedom, unfortunately we don’t live in one.

Wait a minute, in America, you can’t go to jail or lose your job for telling a joke? Can you? At least not a political joke? Not in America? Right? Wrong. Our country has no sense of humor.

If you have been in an airport, you may have heard the friendly voice over the intercom, remind you that joking about exploding things can get you arrested. Well, that’s kinda sorta like yelling “fire in a crowded theatre”, so maybe saying, “Will you quit fondling my swim suit. You act like I’m the inventor of the world’s first bikini b—b!  Hey, where are you taking me? Let me go. My planes’ leaving for Hawaii!” You’ll probably get to repeat the joke to Ahmed, the Afghan goat herder, who got to Guantanamo Bay Resort, by telling the joke about the drug lord and the camel…

If you tell a racist or sexist joke at work? In the iconic words of the pathetcally popular Mr. Ego “You’re fired!” It’s not nice to put people down and make them feel uncomfortable. Humor is not protected by the constitution. But what about political humor? Surely that’s protected right? You can’t lose your job…oh yeah Bill Maher.

Bill Maher is in the midst of a P.R. tour pushing the new season of his show on HBO. I’ve seen him interviewed a couple of times, once on Larry King, and the same question has dogged him, “Do you regret the comment you made after 9/11, on your show “Politically Incorrect”, about the hijackers not being cowards? Did it cost you your job?”

I remember seeing that episode, and thinking “You go boy! Tell it like it is. Let’s keep it honest.” I also knew as soon as he uttered the comment that his job was in jeopardy. ABC Television, not wanting to be accused of lacking a sense of humor, made Maher squirm for a few months before canning him. 

To his credit, Bill Maher does not publicly regret his comment, and admits it cost him his job. Looking relaxed and fit, he non-chalantly claims that the show had gotten tired, and ABC probably did him a favor. Well, that’s not how I recall it. Bill Maher, after ABC did not defend him (or free speech), from the attacks of Rove’s Brownshirts, looked anything but relaxed and fit. He appeared as a man defeated in spirit. And it wasn’t until he wrote an article on Huffington Post, defending Israel’s attack on Lebanon’s civilian population, did he really get to wield his shtick again.

Worse was the effect his firing had on political satire. Satire, the last tool of political dissent, had been crushed. The message was clear. Dissent in any form would not be tolerated. What followed were some very un-funny years.

However, dissent did eventually return, and of course it returned once again with satire.  Three men risked their careers to try and defend the constitution, and their country, through the use of satire on their t.v. shows. Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Keith Olbermann.

They stuck their necks out, when everyone else cowered, and when they didn’t get fired for telling a joke - others felt safe enough to dissent.  “Girl, you look good in your suicide swim suit.”

Globalization is neither good nor evil. Globalization, like any creation of man, can be used for either purpose. Dynamite can blow a hole through a mountain, and connect two valleys, or it can be used to destroy villages. Nuclear energy can provide electricity, powering a nation, or it can be used to kill entire populations. A match can be used to light a fire, that cooks our food and heats our house, or it can be used to burn down the house.

Globalization as an economic force can similarly be used, to open markets and create employment opportunities, for people and their products. And Globalization can also be used, to force people from their land, and create slave labor factories. Sadly, we see more of the former rather than the latter, in the world today.

Likewise the Internet, a new form of globalized communication, is neither good nor evil. It can be used to share music, art, and ideas, that benefit all of mankind. And it can also be used to spread messages of hate, to spy on our fellow man, and rob us from the far reaches of the planet.

The question and the challenge before us today, is not whether globalization and the internet is good or evil, Or whether it should even exist. Exist it does and we shall decide how to use it. Inherent in the negative power of Globalization and the internet, to destroy our civilization, lies the positive power to create a better world. Do you recognize the power and are you up to the challenge? One laptop, one man, the power to change the world.

In a rare exhibition of honesty, Tony Snow announced that he would be stepping down as White House Press Secretary, due to finanancial reasons. Avoiding the usual cliche, of “spending more time with the family”, Snow explained “I’m not going to be able to go the distance, but that’s primarily for financial reasons.” Snow said. “I’ve told people when my money runs out, then I’ve got to go.”

Tony Snow, earns $168,000 annualy as White House Press Secretary, and apparently that’s not enough. Honest, arrogant and insulting would be the only way to characterize Tony’s reasons for leaving. At a time when American men and women, working for the same federal government, are sacraficing their lives and limbs (facing snipers and road side bombs) in Iraq, on starting salaries of $15,282.

Facing an un-armed and cowardly Washington Press Corp, Snow couldn’t continue on his current salary of $168,000, according to CNN “People close to Snow said that he felt he needed to make some more money to help his family, which includes children readying for college.”

If Mr. Snow’s children enlist in the Army, they will be eligible for up to $72,900 to pay for college with the Montgomery GI Bill, and an additional $23,724 if they join the reserves. The Snow childrens’ enlistment in the Army, will not only help their father remain as Press Secretary, and pay for their educations, they will also be a part of a war their Daddy supports. Other federal employees with children, house and car payments, and working in a much more hazardous war zone, find a way to manage - on a tenth of Mr. Snow’s salary.

Normally, I wouldn’t beat-up on a man with cancer, however Mr Snow should be aware, that their are millions of Americans earning far less than him, without health insurance, who are paying for his chemo-therapy.

Karl Rove’s departure from the White House, has stirred much analysis and debate, and almost universal joy among liberals and conservatives. Both Democrats and Republicans  hold him responsible for political defeats. What is missing from most of the talk is the central role Karl Rove played in the Iraq War fiasco. In fact, without Karl Rove’s participation, the Iraq War may never have occurred. One of the motivations to attack Iraq was domestic U.S. politics. Specifically, the 2002 mid-term Congressional elections. 

This is not a secret, the decision to attack Iraq in order to win the 2002 mid-term elections, is clearly outlined in a September 2002 Time Magazine article titled “General Karl Rove, reporting for duty”. The sequence of events leading up to the Iraq War, are not a mystery either, however Karl Rove’s Machiavellian political calculus gave it the green light.

The Neo-Cons, the American wing of the Israeli Likud Party, had long been advocating a war against Iraq. Their policy of creating instablility within the middle-east to enhance Israel’s security is well known. Their attempts to promote a U.S. invasion of Iraq can be seen publicly, a week before Bush takes power, in a January 2000 Wolfowitz and Perle Frontline PBS documentary. 

After Bush’s selection in 2000, the Neo-Cons found homes in both Vice-President Dick Cheney office, and Donald Rumsfeld’s Defense Dept., and continued to push war against Iraq – but nobody was buying. Even after the 911 attacks, the Neo-Con agenda of linking Saddam Hussein to Al-Qaeda, was rejected by the White House.

The 2001 war in Afghanistan was, with the exception of Bin Laden’s escape, a tremendous success. The Taliban and their Al-Qaeda allies were quickly and easily defeated, Osama Bin Laden was hiding in a cave, and the United States was victorious.

However, on the domestic political front, things weren’t going so well. The country was still divided over the Gore v. Bush election, the economy hadn’t recovered from the dot-com bust and appeared to be headed for recession, and after Sen. Jeffords defection in the Senate it looked like the Democrats would capture the House of Representatives as well.

The war in Afghanistan provided a political boost to the President, but because victory had been so rapid and complete, the positive political effects quickly diminished. Post 911 phony terror alerts, at first very effective at silencing domestic opposition, with over use began to lose their intimidation factor. In the winter and spring of 2002 things weren’t looking good for the Republicans and President Bush.

In April of 2002, the U.S. backed a coup attempt against Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez, after Chavez tried to take over the Venezuelan state oil company. The coup attempt failed and Dick Cheney and Big Oil had been defeated.

The Neo-Cons never gave up on their desire to invade Iraq, their people were in place within the administration, and they re-pitched their plan.

Oil had been trading at $20 per barrel, Haliburton was under investigation for it’s accounting practices, and was fighting for it’s corporate life in an asbestos lawsuit. It wasn’t very hard for the Neo-Cons to convince Dick Cheney to support the Iraq War plan. After having lost Venezuela’s oil, the thought of being able to capture Iraq’s oil, was too sweet a deal.

Donald Rumsfeld, a man of tremendous ego, saw how an Iraq War would increase his power and prestige within the administration. With his second in command, Wolfowitz whispering into his ear, he saw how he could crush his nemesis Colin Powell.

Colin Powell in the State Dept., the top generals in the military, and the President were the only ones remaining to get on board.

In the spring of 2002, it was not hard to convince Karl Rove ergo the President, that war against Iraq would be a good political idea.

In a time of war, the country unites, and the popularity of the president rises. Wars are a political act as much as they are a military one. And this war had many political upsides, with few political downsides, at least seemingly. Approaching the 2002 mid-term elections, with the Democrats poised to take over both houses of Congress, Karl Rove got on board the War Wagon.

Only Colin Powell remained as an opponent to invasion, and with the majority of the administration in favor, he was easily isolated.

Although large numbers of Americans opposed attacking Iraq, Congressional support was guaranteed, this was a war Israel wanted. When it comes to U.S. mid-east policy, what Israel wants Israel usually gets, and almost no member of Congress, either Democrat or Republican had the courage to oppose Israeli whishes.

The Democrats were silenced, Karl Rove was left free to frame the Attack, any member of congress who expressed dissent was labled soft on terror. The 2002 mid-term elections switched from a debate over failing domestic policies, to a debate on fighting terror, the Democrats lost both houses of Congress in the November elections.

Karl Rove would use the Iraq War once more, to silence the Democrats in 2004, and win the presidential election. Having supported the invasion, the Democrats avoided pursuing the failing Iraq War as a political strategy, even though large numbers of Americans increasingly opposed the war. The Democrats remained silent, as this time Karl Rove switched the debate from a failing foreign policy, to the threat of gay marriage at home. 

Of course, as we know now, the Iraq War finally caught up to Karl Rove in the 2006 mid-term elections. The Iraq War had turned into a disaster, and even though Democrats remained silent or called for half measures, large numbers of Americans turned out and gave both houses of Congress to the Democrats in any case.

Karl Rove was not an Iraq War ideologue or proponent. Like his boss he didn’t know the difference between a Sunni or a Shiite, was unaware of regional politics, or carefully considered the full range of consequences.

He saw the Iraq War as a tool to win elections, and it proved to be a successful strategy in two elections, however it cost him the last election.

In the spring of 2002, a debate raged in the White House over the decision to invade Iraq, Karl Rove saw the political advantage of going to war. He was central to pushing and promoting the war to gain domestic political victory. The consequences would be someone else’s problem, Dick and Don would take care of the details, and Bush would reign supreme.

In April of this year, Karl Rove stated “I wish the war were over. I wish the war never existed.” Karl Rove was central to starting something he couldn’t stop. Ultimately it cost him his job.

A front page article appeared in the Sunday 8/5/2007 business section of the  San Francisco Chronicle that focused on Yahoo’s effort to find a  “Killer  App.” that would rescue it from Google domination. Hundreds of Yahoo employees crammed an auditorium, to present their ideas, and in the end one idea was chosen in the area of “search”. They were offered a meeting with a Senior Executive to “get him enthused and excited”.

The company has been falling for the past year, both in stock price, and market share.

It is important that Yahoo not fail. More importantly, that the arena of search, not be controlled by one company. The salvation of Yahoo, lies not in looking forward (finding the killer app.), but in looking backward. Yahoo already has everything it needs, not only to successfully battle Google, but to even once again dominate. Bradley Horowitz, V.P. of Advanced Development at Yahoo was the focus of the article. Here is the comment I left on his blog:

Bradley:

I read the San Francisco Chronicle which outlined your efforts in finding a solution to Yahoo’s declining market share and fortunes. The article detailed how you are leading the effort at discovering a new product or idea that will counter Googles ever increasing domination. From reading past articles about Yahoo, it appears that CEO Jerry Wang, is also in pursuit of new “killer apps.” to take back the lead from Google. You are both looking in the wrong direction.

The salvation of Yahoo lies not in looking forward - but in looking backwards. This is a time for “backwards thinking”. Yahoo already has the solution to it’s problems. In fact it has everything it needs, to not only successfully battle Google, but to once again dominate.  A killer App. won’t save you - you need to beat Google at it’s own game - and Yahoo and only Yahoo can. The solution lies in Yahoo’s neglected, and nearly abandoned, directory.

Let me explain:

Google makes it’s money from ppc. It’s ppc is dependent on it’s search engine. At one time, it’s search engine was the best on the internet, people flocked to Google for search. And advertisers followed, making Google very rich, Yahoo missed an opportunity. Today, Google’s search results are crap, and Yahoo has another opportunity. In fact, there is only one company that can - Yahoo. And that is due to your directory.

Google and Yahoo = Alta Vista and DMOZ

Looking back - At one time, Google was nothing more than an improved Alta Vista, and Yahoo was a paid DMOZ. What Google did to become so dominant was simply combine Alta Vista with DMOZ. In fact, early on, Google relied heavily on DMOZ to produce it’s search engine results. Google has gotten away from DMOZ and relies more on linking. This was useful at one time but is now it’s Achilles heel - and Yahoo’s opportunity.

Linking, as a measurement of web page value, is fine for articles. But horrible for business. It is an extreme waste of time, money, and energy. And it has become so corrupted as to render search results meaningless. Linking has given rise to bogus directories and only benefits the big players. People using search engines are not getting what they’re looking for.

Take San Francisco Hotels for example. If I am planning a trip to San Francisco, and I am looking for a hotel, I type San Francisco hotels into the search engine.  What do I expect to see? A list of Hotels in San Francisco with a short description. What do I get? A couple of big name hotels but mostly directories and travel companies. On the right hand side of the page, in the ppc section, are the hotels - and usually only the big names. Again, not what I am looking for. Bye the way, who does the best job of producing meaningful results, Google or Yahoo? Yahoo - but not by much. Google’s failure does not automatically mean Yahoo benefits. If you don’t seize the opportunity and revamp and re-energize your directory - you will still lose.

Here’s How:

• Clean-up your directory - kick out the bogus directories from search results.
• Dramatically lower your directory submission fees - make it cheap and easy for everyone to be listed in the directory.
• Modify your algorithm - place the greatest weight on your directory.
• Marketing - “Do you Yahoo?” Get people back to using Yahoo for search.

Google’s money, strength and power, does not come from AJAX or Satellite Images. It is derived from their search engine.

This is your second, and possibly last chance, don’t blow it. In the words of the Beatles “Get back to where you once belonged - JoJo”

Sincerely,

Ramsay Mameesh